Blogmas Day 15 : Drying Up

My nursing journey with Camylle has been unique at best. Of all my kids, she has nursed the best by far. She never had latching issues and from her very first feed, she’s nursed like a pro. So imagine my surprise when at her 1 week well check visit, the pediatrician expressed concerns about her weight. Camylle was eating, but her weight gain was very slow. We were back and forth to the doctor on a weekly basis for the first month of her little life. It was exhausting! Finally, after she’d only gained 1 pound in a month, I was advised to begin supplementing with formula. This was familiar territory as I had to do the same with Carmyn almost immediately. So I replaced two feeds with formula and cluster fed her to make up the difference in between. I was determined to not let my milk supply suffer as it had when I introduced Carmyn to the bottle.

Well, fast forward to her 2 month well check visit and the doctor determined that while she was gaining, she wasn’t gaining in a timely manner. So, I increased her formula and you all know what that means! Increase in formula = decrease in milk production. I’m still doing all the things that I’ve done to keep my milk supply strong, but nothing increases your milk like latching. And because she’s latching less, I’m making less. I’m no longer feeling the fullness throughout the day and my boobs aren’t achy when I hold her near. I’m drying up 😩!!! She’s our last baby so this is my last chance at nursing. I’ll miss the bonding that goes into feeding my baby from my body as God has designed. Lately I’m experiencing all kinds of lasts and honestly, it’s becoming overwhelming.

No matter my apprehension, her health is always the number 1 priority. It’s why I am giving her the formula in the first place. I’ve been down the road of having a sick child and I rebuked that thought immediately. I knew in my heart that she was fine however, whatever I can do as a mom to insure that she progresses as quickly and efficiently as possible is what I’ll do. I’m not giving up nursing her just yet. I’ll nurse until I feel it’s time to wean. In the mean time, I’ll enjoy these last moments and thank God for health and strength to be able to give of my body for the health and nutrition of my baby!!!