This Christmas holds a special significance for our family. This is Camylle's very first Christmas. And while this is a happy time and we are all so excited, I can't help but to feel a little sad simultaneously. You see, we've decided that our family is complete. While we love the process of creating life, four lives created is enough for us. So this is not just Camylle's first Christmas, it's the last first Christmas that the Binfords will experience.
You may wonder what's the big deal. Well, this last first Christmas signals a series of last firsts that will occur. A few days ago she began to coo (baby babble). It made me think of each of the others' first babbles. I began to feel a tugging on my heart. I suddenly felt like I was running out of time and I was desperate to suspend each little moment of firsts with her. I love my kids and I've loved every stage of their growth that has happened over the years.
I know that I can't stop time, and honestly I don't want to. Part of being a mom is watching your love and guidance manifest as your babies grow and assert themselves as little people in this world. The one thing I can say is that Sid and I are very intentional about what's poured into the children. We want them to grow up and blaze a path of success in every aspect of their lives. All I can do is embrace and enjoy this last first Christmas. And I hope that the memories we make will be forever present within my mind and heart.